I found the "aha, that is a narcissist and this is why" stuff to be useful for a period to make sense of some of my family. I kind of assimilated the knowledge and now I can pretty much label someone a narcissist (or not) correctly up front.

In the longer run, like over several years, it's become knowledge that I computed and filed away. It doesn't say too much. Well, it says a lot actually. A narcissist often can't love someone else and what they call "love" is often performative to make people admire them. But I mean, it doesn't point me to any better way to deal with the type. Narcissists are often the shittiest people (as in, most woke and top level people like Hillary Clinton are blazing narcissists.)

Sometimes people are simply insensitive and take shit for granted. Like Jo's relatives.

And a lot of behaviors can be characterized as narcissistic and they may be, but naming someone else's disorder doesn't really help to cope with them (unless one is a noob at self help and is trying to initially make sense of stuff that's happened.)

I know exactly what Jo is talking about with her younger relations.

They're a product of the time they grew up in. They're Gen X, so they grew up with texting and they tend to be shallow about interactions and they don't value immediacy or authentic connections. They take Jo completely for granted and one day hopefully in the distant future when she is no longer around to plan a holiday dinner, they'll dimly realize what they blew off because it was "boring" and they will then feel the loss.