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P.A.G.A.N. - People Against Goodness And Normalcy

People are the problem.

Exterminate humanity!

I'm drunk, the board is private now, and I wanted to say this.

Just fuck people. Every problem is a people problem.

No people, no problem.

I just had to post that small rant. Hope it entertained and brightened your evening.

My old man would agree with you there.

One of his quotes is "the more people involved, the more problems". LOL

That is pretty perceptive, actually. I'm going to use it. It's similar to the network problem (more nodes is more problems).

I approve of inhibition-reduced-circumstances rants.

People are always the problem so the less I'm involved with them the better. I didn't always feel like this in my younger days but I do now because I've had it with people and their problems.

I used to be the one that had all the family dinners at my house on the holidays, but those days are long gone I was into it at the time, preserving the family, etc., but now my family is down to all younger generation except for me. Everyone else is gone. There's a 10 to 15 year difference between us. I call them the texting generation. They're too busy for anything else.

I resent that and the friends that I have left are problematic in a different way. They're all older and just trying to get through life in the best possible way, but they're all looking for someone to hold their hand in the process and help them through. I think they need to look elsewhere. I'm done with being their savior. I'm just trying to make it through my own life. I know none of my friends would ever be there for me. They're more fair-weather friends.

That's my rant.

^ You just totally encapsulated how life is feeling for me too. The sense of alienation from basically everything and everyone and the lack of meaningful connections.

There is a trope that I have seen floating around Youtube advice videos: "senior orphans" or "elderly orphans". Those who have little or no surviving or caring family left. I don't even have to watch them, I totally get the basic concept.

I tend to feel like a senior orphan or castoff when it comes to my family. Months go by and I don't hear from them. That isn't my idea of what family is about, but the younger generation in my family doesn't seem to care. I'd love to talk to them but they never have any time to spare so I stopped calling. I always thought we were closer but I get it.

The bottom line is family as I knew it is gone forever. It's just another disappointment and life goes on.

I'm not a fan of texting. I'll text for a quick conversation about something, but not really into having full conversations by text.

Sounds like you might be a recovered codependent BTW. Everyone expects you to be on your best behavior and hold everything together while they behave poorly. I can relate to that role. I've been reading a lot about that and narcissism and the like.

I found the "aha, that is a narcissist and this is why" stuff to be useful for a period to make sense of some of my family. I kind of assimilated the knowledge and now I can pretty much label someone a narcissist (or not) correctly up front.

In the longer run, like over several years, it's become knowledge that I computed and filed away. It doesn't say too much. Well, it says a lot actually. A narcissist often can't love someone else and what they call "love" is often performative to make people admire them. But I mean, it doesn't point me to any better way to deal with the type. Narcissists are often the shittiest people (as in, most woke and top level people like Hillary Clinton are blazing narcissists.)

Sometimes people are simply insensitive and take shit for granted. Like Jo's relatives.

And a lot of behaviors can be characterized as narcissistic and they may be, but naming someone else's disorder doesn't really help to cope with them (unless one is a noob at self help and is trying to initially make sense of stuff that's happened.)

I know exactly what Jo is talking about with her younger relations.

They're a product of the time they grew up in. They're Gen X, so they grew up with texting and they tend to be shallow about interactions and they don't value immediacy or authentic connections. They take Jo completely for granted and one day hopefully in the distant future when she is no longer around to plan a holiday dinner, they'll dimly realize what they blew off because it was "boring" and they will then feel the loss.

I see texting as a way to avoid having an actual conversation with someone. Texting is okay for short communications like "I'll be there at 2pm", but if you're typing several paragraphs in a text on anything more complex its not good enough to replace a conversation.

My sister and brother are both narcissistic, but in different ways. My sister has her MBA, so you know she is the ultimate authority on just about everything. My brother is a lifetime body builder type. They're not bad people, but they need to get over themselves. I'm not impressed by either of them and I know them since dirt. I'm looking for authentic connections but I can't spend enough time with either one to ever get that.

This hits home for me because I think you're probably right.

"They're a product of the time they grew up in. They're Gen X, so they grew up with texting and they tend to be shallow about interactions and they don't value immediacy or authentic connections. They take Jo completely for granted and one day hopefully in the distant future when she is no longer around to plan a holiday dinner, they'll dimly realize what they blew off because it was "boring" and they will then feel the loss."

I can pretty much label someone a narcissist (or not) correctly up front.

That's a good skill to have as some people (especially those in narcissistic families) seem to attract narcissists.

Narcissists are often the shittiest people (as in, most woke and top level people like Hillary Clinton are blazing narcissists.)

Hillary is definitely a narcissist.

Do you think Trump is a narcissist? He is often accused of being one.

And then there are sociopaths. The worst work environment I was in was when I had a narcissistic boss and his boss was a sociopath and I ended up in the middle of some of their battles.

Sometimes people are simply insensitive and take shit for granted. Like Jo's relatives.

True. I've heard it said that narcissism is a spectrum. Everyone has at least a little bit of narcissism, some much more than others.

naming someone else's disorder doesn't really help to cope with them

That is true. It doesn't help because they will never change. All you can change is yourself.

They're a product of the time they grew up in. They're Gen X, so they grew up with texting and they tend to be shallow about interactions and they don't value immediacy or authentic connections. They take Jo completely for granted and one day hopefully in the distant future when she is no longer around to plan a holiday dinner, they'll dimly realize what they blew off because it was "boring" and they will then feel the loss.

That's a good summary of the situation.

Just putting a finer point on my message.

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